A mother’s attentiveness to her baby’s distress, especially in the first year, is more important to his secure attachment than positive feedback when he’s happy and content, concludes a UI study published in the June issue of the Journal of Family Psychology.

“Unfortunately, sometimes it’s difficult for parents to deal with their child’s distress,” said Nancy McElwain, a UI professor of human and community development. “A mother may become anxious when her baby is really unhappy and try to comfort him by saying, ‘Oh, don’t cry, don’t cry.’ But it’s OK to cry.

Not all children get along well with their friends or siblings. A positive relationship with a friend, however, can buffer the effects of a poorly functioning relationship the child may have with a sibling, said University of Illinois researcher Nancy McElwain in a study published in December’s Journal of Family Psychology.